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The Motherhood and Mental Health Blog by Dr. Prabha

6/14/2013

33 Comments

 

Blues after the Baby Shower

She had looked forward to this baby so much. Pregnancy was easier than expected. None of the morning sickness issues that her friends had warned her about. In fact she blossomed during her pregnancy, her office work was of high quality and everyone who saw her said  that motherhood suited her.

She had read magazines and books on pregnancy and often read parts of it aloud to her husband who teased her indulgently about her constant preoccupation with this baby who was yet to come. She had thought of a name for a girl and a boy and had started thinking of the baby’ room and clothes.  It was all fine till her `Srimantha’ during her 9th month.  This was her baby shower and all her friends and relatives were literally showering her with blessings and gifts. By the end of the day she  was exhausted and had a restless night.

The next morning was when the gloom and panic began. What if labour was difficult, what if  something happened to the baby or what if something happened to her? Thoughts crowded around like a whirlpool, dragging her down further every minute.

She insisted on seeing her obstetrician for an unscheduled appointment who assured her that the baby was fine and that calmed her down a bit.

Three weeks later, she went into labour and needed a Ceasarian section. She got up from her anaesthesia groggy and confused. They brought her baby to her but she did not feel the joy that she had expected. How would she look after this little creature who was so dependent on her?

Somehow, she mustered enough energy to breast feed. At home there was her mother for help and all the relatives who  came exclaimed how beautiful the baby was but she did not feel anything. And then came the tears and the guilt.


Thoughts went round and round her mind- “I must be an awful mother she thought not to feel happy.”

“All this seems such a chore, I am tired and don’t feel like feeding my baby”.

“I wish someone could look after the baby and let me lie in bed”.

Her husband was befuddled and confused. Had he done something wrong? Should they not have had a child just yet? Would she be like this forever? How would he manage the baby single handed?

Notes from a Perinatal Psychiatrist – The Solutions


How could we have prevented this from happening?

How can we help a woman, her baby and family when something like this happens?

Depression in pregnancy, especially in the last couple of months is not uncommon. Early detection can help in treatment and preventing it from worsening in the postpartum.

The obstetrician could have referred her to a counselor first or a psychologist to assess the anxiety and depression. They would have suggested some simple `mental techniques” based on cognitive therapy which could have made our young mother feel a lot better.

If that didn’t work, we would have started her on a low dose antidepressant with a good safety profile. We could have started the same antidepressant soon after delivery which would have helped the mother a great deal and also counseled her and her husband on simple methods of handling this postpartum depression.

We would have reassured the mother that its ok not to be a `perfect’ mom! Mothers will feel tired, frustrated and sometimes get angry and one might not feel attached and loving towards the baby at all times.

We would have spoken to the husband and told him about depression linked to childbirth and what he can do to help. Importantly, we would have assured him that he was not to blame and this can be treated.

I would urge readers to look at this website on postpartum mental health, www.postpartumprogress.com. This site has been voted as the top website for information and I found it very useful too!

Please write to me at this website or at [email protected]  if you think you have similar experiences and if you would like to know more about a specific mental health problem related to childbirth and mothering. This blog is for all the mothers who have struggled or are struggling with mental health concerns related to  childbirth, for those who overcame these struggles and for those husbands and family members who helped them.

33 Comments
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4/23/2025 07:29:30 pm

I am writing this with h so much joy in my heart. After 13 long, painful years of battling infertility, I feel led to share my journey in hopes of giving someone else hope. My husband and I tried almost every possible option, countless hospital visits, medications, treatments, yet nothing worked. Each year felt heavier than the last, filled with disappointment and heartbreak. Then, by divine connection, I met an infertility expert who listened to my story and introduced me to a herbal doctor named Dr. Adebayo Odu, At first, I was skeptical. I had never believed in herbal medicine, and I honestly felt like giving up. But something inside me said, Just try one more time. So I did. Dr. Adebayo gave me a natural herbal remedy specifically tailored to my condition. To my shock, something started changing. Slowly, I began to notice improvements in my body. And after months of using the herbs faithfully, I finally conceived naturally. Today, I am holding my beautiful baby girl in my arms. Words cannot express the joy and gratitude I feel.If you are struggling with infertility or battling PCOS, I want to encourage you: don’t lose hope. Dr. Adebayo is a gift, and his herbal remedies might just be what you need, like they were for me. After 13 years of tears, I now wake up to baby giggles.Miracles do happen. Mine came through herbs. You can contact him via email: [email protected]: ‪+234 911 781 4268‬

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Gillian Bayford
5/10/2025 09:14:35 am

I want to use this medium to share my incredible manifesting with Dr. Kachi, who truly changed my life. For a long time, I struggled with homelessness after losing my job as a nurse. Life felt like an endless battle, and I spent many years trying to win the lottery, hoping for a better future. But despite my efforts, I had no success and was growing increasingly frustrated. That was until I came across an amazing testimony from a woman named Natasha, who shared how Dr. Kachi helped her win the National EuroMillions jackpot. I had always loved playing EuroMillions, but winning seemed impossible for me. However, after seeing Natasha's story, I decided to reach out to Dr. Kachi prepared a special spell to help me with guaranteed lucky numbers. Within 24 hours, he provided me with the winning numbers and instructed me to play. To my amazement, I won £184.656 million in the EuroMillions! Thanks to Dr. Kachi, my life has been transformed, and my financial situation has changed for the better. I will never forget this joyful moment, as it has been the best thing to ever happen to me. If you’re struggling and seeking a way out, never give up. Dr. Kachi can help you, just as he helped me. Keep your faith and take a chance – your life could change too! contact website https://drkachispellcaster.wixsite.com/my-site his email [email protected] or his phone text or call number: +1 (209) 893-8075

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Virginia Harold
5/13/2025 11:11:44 am

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I want to give thanks to Dr Gerald for bringing back my ex husband. No one could have ever made me believe that the article I’m about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Dr Gerald is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person, It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles, I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn't face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he broke up with me again. I was confused and do not know what to do again, rather them to get in contact with Dr Gerald. He did a love spell that made my husband come back to me. We are now very much happy with ourselves. Dr Gerald makes him realize how much we love and need each other. This man is for REAL and for good, he can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well, in our love life.

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    About Author

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    Name: Dr. Prabha S Chandra
    Gender- Female
    Profession- Medicine, Psychiatry
    Occupation- Professor of Psychiatry
    Location - Bangalore, India

    Why this blog?- The purpose of this blog is to write about the topic that I am most passionate about- mental health issues related to childbirth and the mental health of mothers.

     I will write about my experiences as a perinatal psychiatrist in the last 15 years, the jubilations and trials in my job, patient experiences and stories ( complete confidentiality assured), the latest medical news in the field and important links and websites that you folks may want to visit.

    I will invite guest bloggers who are experts in their respective fields to offer to you their stories and words of wisdom.

    Through this blog I hope to reach out to the countless mothers and fathers who have struggled or are struggling with mental health concerns related to childbirth, for those who overcame these struggles and for those husbands and family members who helped them.

    I hope you will accompany me into this journey of stories, musings, my own dilemmas, the stories of my great colleagues and also the grit and courage of my wonderful patients who are determined to survive.

    My Not so Professional Bio-

    I adore babies and dogs. I enjoy writing about things that I feel strongly about. I am passionate about books and travel.  

    I believe in recycling; in the goodness and strength of all human beings; in listening to patient’s illness narratives and stories.

    I enjoy teaching young students and listening to their insights. I feel medical ethics is a neglected subject and strive to discuss it whenever possible.

    For me, motherhood has been the most rewarding experience of my life,  from which I have learnt to be honest, patient, non judgmental, accepting, modest, brave, funny and a combination of being a Tiger Mom and a Teddy Bear Mom as the situation demands!

    I would like to make motherhood as stress free as possible for women who are already struggling with mental health issues and hence this blog.

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